By Vishnu Subramaniam
A great body, wicked sense of humor and nice smile will land you lots of dates. But if you’re looking for an emotionally rich, long-term relationship, it's going to take more than just superficial attractiveness.
To attract genuine and authentic love, it's essential to go deeper and become a better version of yourself. There’s nothing sexier, or more attractive, than someone who is comfortable with himself and strives to do better each day.
Here are seven ways you can become a love magnet and attract the right person into your life.
1. Know yourself.
You may want to get to know others and see who fits, but do you know yourself first? Have you gone within? Have you spent time alone? No one can save us, fulfill us or make us happy except ourselves.
Create some down time where you’re by yourself. What’s important to you? What brings you alive? What scars need to be healed? What from your past do you need to let go of? What beliefs are holding you back? A little quiet time and reflection, daily, can help you understand yourself better.
2. Love yourself.
The key to loving others is to love yourself first. Loving yourself means slowing down your life and creating space. It’s about loving the thoughts that pop up in your mind and diffusing the negativity that you hear.
Love yourself by extending compassion for your thoughts, feelings and fears. Journal, share and find healthy ways to get comfortable with your inner state of mind. Feel the compassion and kindness in your heart and allow it to flow to all parts of your body.
3. Be true to yourself.
"Faking it til you make it" isn't a great mantra for everything in life. Your being needs more than that. Trying to behave like someone else will leave you feeling like you’re playing a role that wasn’t meant for you.
So know your truth. Speak your truth. Live your truth. Find work that suits you. Find friends that accept you for you who are. Show up and be seen as you are — what you most conscious of about yourself is what others will love most about you.
4. Care for yourself.
You’d easily show up for a friend in need or fly across the country to take care of your bestie. Now answer this: What are you doing to take care of yourself? What’s on your daily self-care plan? Is it time to create some "me time," where you slow it down, breathe, and relax? Read something you love, watch something you enjoy, cook up something you crave?
Care for your body, mind and soul on the daily. It's really not a luxury.
5. Improve yourself.
Isn’t it easier to wish others changed and became better version of themselves?
Exactly. No one changes because of us but we can change. We can change out mindset, change our beliefs, change our habits and even change our outlook on the world.
Your personal development tool kit is all around you. Every book on your bookshelf can likely improve your life. A talk with an upbeat friend can inspire an upbeat day.
Set a goal. Start a habit. Observe yourself. Look for ways to improve. Look to others for inspiration. Get motivated to make changes. Because what you don’t change will remain the same — you decide when you want to see changes in your life.
6. Value yourself.
No one is going to value you until you value and respect yourself. If you realize your power and potential, others will too.
Boost your self-worth by doubling down on work you’re good at, by being around positive people and doing activities that help you feel good about yourself. Think about all the good you’ve done for people. Reflect upon all your achievements at work and how much you’re valued. Remind yourself of your kindness, compassion, love and generosity.
Above all: you’re only as valuable as you value yourself.
7. Listen to yourself.
You know what’s super attractive? People who know what they want and live to their heart’s desires.
Your heart speaks to you through your intuition and your feelings. It usually screams out to you but you’re listening to Beyoncé instead on iTunes.
You’re continually being led and guided by your inner compass. If you’d just stop for a couple minutes and acknowledge it, you’ll have a road map for your life and super accurate decision-making system.
Listening to your truth? Guided by your wisdom? Courageous living? Yes, please!
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