There is another potential pattern here that must be addressed as well. Sometimes there is no slamming door, no tearful parting words. He just never phones again or she doesn't return the last call and someone is left sitting there, thumb in mouth, wondering what went wrong.
It is my opinion that any relationship worthy of that name, be it a friendship or a marriage, deserves a decent burial. "We seem to be looking toward different objectives. You're a fine person and I hope you find what you're looking for," or "I've enjoyed our time together very much. I hope we can be friends in the future, but I don't want to see you for a while. It would be too painful for me."
My friend Ellen's longest friendship with a man, she confided in me, began shortly after he turned down her sexual overture. He refused her with such grace that she didn't feel rejected as a woman or as a human being. Instead, she said, she felt enormously appreciated. "I just was not his sexual type. He really meant that old chestnut about "just" being friends and I heard that he did, and responded in kind." Nobody likes to be refused, but Ellen learned a valuable lesson from the experience; not the least of which was how to refuse others under similar circumstances.
The man who shares my heart, my life and my home today was a sweetheart of mine in my late teens and early twenties many many years ago. I rejected his offer of marriage not because I didn't care for him but because I was just not interested in such a commitment with a man I saw as an unambitious "vagabond poet". However I held a soft spot in my heart for him over the years. Two years ago he wrote to me letting me know of his latest book. I read it and responded enthusiastically. A correspondence ensued and the love affair was rekindled. He said later what motivated him to write after all that time was his desire to show me his accomplishments and perhaps redeem himself in my eyes.
If this exercise results in some Ah hahs! On your part or some fortuitous connection, please post here and let me know. Have a very good trip down Memory Lane.