Let's just start with the basics: Any orgasm is a good orgasm. But what most women don't know is that you can experience six different kinds of orgasm through tantra.
I once worked with a woman who said she wasn't "sure" if she had ever had an orgasm. I said, "Honey, if you had an orgasm you would know it!"
Tantric orgasms are about rejecting shame, rejecting judgment, and breathing into the moment—whether you've never experienced an orgasm or have had thousands.
Tantric sex, often considered "next level" sex, is all about exploration, empowerment, and enjoyment. It's about taking the orgasm beyond just the physical.
Orgasms are important spiritually because they get you out of your head and into your body. At the moment of orgasm, you lose your ego—the sense of being isolated from the source.
Mentally, orgasms put you in a state of relaxation. They fill the body with hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. All these chemicals make you feel happy.
The state of orgasm is also a state of very high energy—like an electricity that runs from your genitals through your spine and whole nervous system. This is what gives you that "orgasmic glow" all day—the sexual chi charge that comes from inside.
So, want to have an orgasm, or two, or ten? Here are six unique ways to engage mind, body, and spirit—and have a great orgasm!
1. The clitoral orgasm:It's called sahajoli, or "the thunderbolt," because the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings. That's twice as many as a penis! Activating these nerve endings creates an incredible amount of electricity. In tantra, this type of orgasm travels up the front of the body and feels like a "high note."
How to have one:Circling, tapping, tugging, and rolling are all great techniques to play with. Circle the tip of the clitoris with the tip of your finger to stimulate arousal. Try moving from smaller circles to larger ones. Vary the pressure from a feather-light touch to pushing down harder.
Push down on the clit and make small push-and-pull strokes. Then slide your finger down the shaft of the clitoris. Use one finger or several as you tap, gently tug, and circle—it's all about what connects you to your clit.
Many women say that direct clitoral stimulation is the "only" orgasm they can have. But if you learn other techniques and touches, you might find that clitoral orgasms create a great gateway to other types—and even multiple orgasms.
2. The vaginal orgasm:The vagina is called yoni in Sanskrit, which loosely translates to "a sacred space." In tantric philosophy, we approach the vagina from a place of the utmost love and respect, so yoni massage is a practice intended to truly honor a woman and to give her selfless pleasure.
The moolah bandha (orgasm) centers around the root lock at the cervix, which is, energetically, both psychological and spiritual. It's a full-on, no-holding-back orgasm.
The energy of this orgasm travels through the center of the spine and activates at the heart—it feels more like a deep bass drum.
How to have one: Focus on tantric Kegels and breath work. Start in a relaxed, comfortable position, and breathe deeply. Use your Bliss Breath. Constrict the back of your throat, inhale to create a whispering sound, then exhale and release that sound again. Continually take deep, slow, audible breaths.
This helps spread the orgasmic energy throughout your body. For this type of orgasm, you don't want the energy just in your clitoris. Deep breathing can help move that energy from the yoni to all parts of your body.
A Kegel requires squeezing and releasing—tensing and relaxing your vaginal muscles. While you don't need a toy or a penis inside you to do it, having one may help you gauge how much you're tightening up. (Plus it adds to the fun!)
The secret to putting breath and body together to release this awesome orgasm is to squeeze on the inhale and then, retaining the squeeze, visualize the orgasm rising from the cervix to the crown of the head as a white light.
3. The G-spot orgasm:The original translations of the Ananga-ranga, known as the Indian Kamasutra, refers specifically to the erotic spot inside the vaginal wall—the saspanda nadi.
How to have one: To find the G-spot, curve your first two fingers like the letter C and slide them into the vagina. Feel for a little soft spongy piece of skin behind the clitoris. You can massage it by making a come-hither movement with your curved fingers. Vary between fast and slow strokes. You can also tickle the clit simultaneously at the tip or place pressure on or above the pubic bone.
Don't be surprised if this type of stimulation leads to a sudden explosion of wetness, or ejaculation. The liquid that accompanies some orgasms is called amrita, or "nectar of the goddess," and it's sacred.
4. The nipple-gasm:Shyama puja is a sensual breast massage considered an empowering activity for females. Shyama is the tantric goddess of the heart. It's said that arousing pleasure through the breasts and nipples awakens that goddess responsible for love and bonding.
Modern scientific studies back up these ancient traditions. Nipple stimulation releases oxytocin and gives us those warm and fuzzy feelings of love and bonding.
You can use this as a self-pleasuring practice, massaging yourself with coconut oil in the shower, or you can bring it to the bedroom with your partner.
How to have one: Begin by touching your belly. Start with strokes around the belly, rib cage, and in between the breasts to tease yourself. Take your time stirring up sexual energy before getting to the breasts and nipples.
The big secret for this massage is edging, which is finding the edge of pleasure and teasing until the body responds by begging for more. Go slowly. Don't pressure yourself to get the end result.
Once you just can't wait anymore, start by tracing the areolae with a feather-light touch until the nipples become erect. Then, start gently pinching.
When your body starts responding, continue to massage yourself while doing Kegels. (There are specific tantric massage practices you can learn.) Just keep drawing that energy up to the breasts. This makes a full circle of orgasmic energy in your whole body.
5. Multiple orgasms:Tantra is not about having one big orgasm and you're done.
How to have them:Using the techniques and touches that have worked best—that is, given you an orgasm in the past—practice "going for it" as soon as you've relaxed, just a little, from the first orgasm.
You may need to mix things up. According to the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sexual acts and specifically when oral sex and/or vaginal intercourse are included.
When we are teasing ourselves, edging our pleasure, and moving our orgasmic energy throughout our bodies, our orgasms can become like waves moving through every vertebra.
After you learn to edge and tease your orgasms, you can release into full-body and multiple orgasms.
6. The energy orgasm:Simply put, energy orgasms happen when you have unlocked that kundalini sex energy and it flows freely on command.
This is about creating multiple waves of orgasmic feeling, not about writhing in physical ecstasy when you're stuck in traffic.
Remember, tantric methods aren't about one quick orgasm. Once you've learned to engage you mind and body and focus on pleasure and moving energy, you'll be able to release all those happy hormones—the serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin—at will.
What will that do? When you approach orgasm as sacred sexuality, it helps you to think more positive thoughts of yourself and others and project confidence.
The energy and hormonal rush make you vibrant and attractive. It will attract people and positive experiences.