WTF, code switching? Jus be your goddamn full self all the damn time....

i've never understood all this code switching business...just be who the fuck you are all the time and the rest will fade away...i talk to my white friends the same way i talk to my black friends the same way i talk to my gay friends, my mother, my students, my father...it weeds out folks who can't handle my unfiltered glory...howlin....

granted i come from a family of completely, unapologetic unfiltered people which often gets you in trouble...but the idea of giving a fuck about people who can't handle you needs to be dispensed with ASAP....

in the 70's i came from a totally radical family of black activists living in the hood...we were soooo different from all the black people around us...we didnt go to church, my circle of friends were the hippie children of socialists, anarchists and activists on the FBI hitlist...

my father insisted on my attending elite white schools so i could learn the language of the oppressor....which is super important in a totally segregated society...

i always found actually that the code switching i was doing was to survive amongst my own people...it wasn't authentic to me, it was to make the black, brown, caribbean, latino people in my family feel more comfortable and stop tearing me to shreds....

my mentors were hardcore old school black teachers and 70's activists...the rich white kids at my prep school had no problem with that person...it was only black folks who believed i was weird or thought myself too good for them...

i wasnt, i simply had nothing in common with them...in my world...i didn't do black church, historically black colleges, sororities and fraternities, any clubs at all really....i had no language for mainstream black culture...

i was too busy actually trying to navigate the black american, brown caribbean and latino relatives who hated each other (while worshipping the same african gods)...

then when i got to college and kept experiencing the same thing from black folks ( i realize now from the veiled comments) that those folks did and still do hate me) and i in turn felt misunderstood and alone...

so, i tried an experiment...i started speaking, being, doing who i was with everyone...consistently right down the middle...and an amazing thing happened...most black folks retreated completely or kept a distance...then unexpected people showed up and stuck around...they were white hippie kids, 3rd culture kids like me who were latino and asian and came from families with all these mixes and the same internal turmoil that comes from having brown, black and white people in the same immediate family....these people were talking to me....in their language as well....bec like me, they were tired of explaining....tired of being misunderstood....

those were my friends from college i took for granted and who are still around today having my back by any means necessary and have shared observations about my soul and my spirit and my growth that i've wasn't even aware of ....they were not trying to induct me into any club....race or religion, they were understanding my soul, how my emotional life works, what my life's mission was and identifying...bec they were not hung up on whatever group code, they could actually see me instead of placing a bunch of expectations and stereotypes on our interacton....the one thing we held true was who are you and what are your struggling with ...and i see you.....

i am eternally grateful for Leyda, Jung & Abby for seeing me, accepting me, understanding me...seeing me when i could not see myself bec i was too busy trying to be accepting by black folks who loved and hated me in equal measure...

switching codes is a way of keeping people at a distance....being your authentic self requires courage, but you'd be amazed at how much real acceptance you get...

i wrote this early and all the black folks were bent bound and determined to tell me code switching was a tool and necessary for survival...maybe for them...but not for me....

as a matter of fact, i found it the most destabilizing, most destructive force in my childhood and early adulthood....it taught me to not trust who i was....or value all the over the top muchness that i am...

once i stopped switching who i was in an attempt to be accepted or not ostracized...i found that when i travelled the world, people were drawn to my authentic self whose a little caribbean when it comes to my style, but very anti caribbean when it comes to cleaning a fucking house...that my emotional expression has got some woo, woo buddist nun analysis going on that is deeply at odds with the black american woman narrative of inpenetrable strength and the belief that everyone hates me....i found that the idea of working for another person feels like slavery to me was really attractive to people in other countries irregardless of race and those people from Belize to Scotland were identifying and related to me...

there are too many codes in my family: the hidden afro cuban woman code, the gay black man code, the black lesbian code, the bahamian traditional woman code, the southern/gullah black woman code driven by obeah and santeria....

these were all my worlds...and when i just let all of them infiltrate my speech and the way i moved...people responded to that...white folks actually had the least trouble dealing....

i discussed with my dad and he was like, yeah, they kicked me out the black "club" for running with jewish socialists in the 70's...so fuck em...

i sent u to those schools to learn another language and strategies, so you could start your own shit and never have to work for another person every again....as long as you work FOR people, you do have to care about what they think and what they're comfortable with...

so i started my own business and lo and behold, the classes where i am unfiltered, no code attracts clients like me of all colors....and the kinds of conservative black folks who are put off by me...dont' bother coaching with me...but working class white kids, italian kids are my allies....black hippie kids on their new age tip are with me....i don't have any sorors or HBCU clients bec they don't have a way in with me....and i'm fine with that...bec i really don't understand that world anyway...not in a deep soulful way, so i have no tools to help you naviagate that and create business strategies that speak to your audience...

i don't have middle class white girls running my way, because i dont' speak their language either...and that's fine...people should go where they are felt, seen and understood ....

when you don't work for other people, u can just be urself....when u r ur full self, i find most people , both black and white cannot handle it....and get to stepping...

and even when you do, i've learned from casting that the person they want to see is the bald headed third culture chick who moves through worlds like hers and unalike but speaks and acts the same way in all of them...that authentic person is the person who gets the jobs...bec really that's who i am, not what people need me to be feel non threatened....

turn off that filter and create your own source of wealth and work....the rest will take care of itself....

when you turn off your filter, your real allies will always show up...

​and fuck the rest of 'em....

​#STOPWORKINGFOROTHERS

AprilYvetteThompson.com/unplugged