Repost from @silvykhoucasian
Some boundaries are deeply personal.
Some boundaries are relational and will shift depending on the person before us.
As we begin to feel closer to people, it can become a powerful opportunity to re-assess certain boundaries.
We can begin to see if our boundaries are serving us or might be preventing us from feeling connection with those we love.
We might have done a lot of healing around a particular wound that now feels ready to be approached differently.
For example, if we have gone through a traumatic experience, we may need to avoid certain people or places for a period of time.
It wouldn’t be supportive to just “expose” ourselves without a sensitive/therapeutic approach.
But over time, we might be able to expose ourselves slowly with the support of someone guiding and regulating us.
Over time, we may find ourselves feeling capable of engaging in old experiences without feeling as triggered.
Having supportive boundaries protects us from flooding ourselves and trying to be “healed” too quickly.
We have to honor our bodies and respect our limits even as we learn to stretch ourselves again.
We might have rigid boundaries around people giving us feedback because we have struggled to “think” for ourselves.
We may have had a dominating parent that always told us what to do or frequently invalidated our reality.
In that case, it would make sense that we would be very picky and boundaried about those who want to give us excessive feedback.
Our boundaries might soften with those who are willing to really get our vulnerability around this and who can approach it gently.
As we begin to heal this wound and learn to trust ourselves again, we might want feedback from those we begin to trust.
We might learn to hear their feedback without feeling the need to take it all in.
Learning to soften our boundaries can only come when we fully honor ourselves for where we currently are first.
When we don’t try to just force ourselves to be somewhere we’re not capable of being.
// Silvy Khoucasian
is a Tony-winning producer/writer/actor & CEO of TheDreamUnLocked: Boutique Coaching for Actors, Writers & Dreamers