 This is a recurring theme: being raised by people who don't really talk about what's really going on, but rather continue signifying normalcy. It's confusing for a kid who has to then make up how to ask for what they want and communicate difficult things.
This is the skill that story telling will really address and help you put your memories into words and actions that you can now process. That's the lesson, your upbringing taught you, but the how to avoid this happening is what is so often lacking... We're often told what we should avoid, but not taught the skills to get us to a place so that we're not in dangerous situations.... when we don't receive the handbook for survival from the people who raised us (because they were never taught either), we have to trust that as an adult, we have the power to learn new lessons in how to care for ourselves.
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