“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.” — J.M. Barrie
You know exactly what you want in life. But you can’t seem to get there. You have all these resolves.
You’re going to get healthy.
You’re going to write that book.
You’re going to be more present with your loved ones.
You’re going to start that home-based business.
You’re going to learn another language.
You’re going to be more patient and happy.
You’re going to get out of debt.
You’re going to be more organized.
You’re going to be a better friend.
You’re going to overcome bad habits.
But the problem is: Doing these is really hard. And it gets harder every day. Some days, it seems more realistic to just give up entirely. The whole taking one step forward and one or two steps backward pattern is getting old.
You’ve been telling yourself for a long time “Today is the day!” only to fall into old ways before the day, or if you’re lucky, the week, is spent.
When there’s a gap between who you are and who you intend to be, you are incongruent and unhappy. You’re torn, mentally exhausted, and regretful.You always slightly feel like a fraud to yourself, and probably to the people around you.
Conversely, Gandhi has said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
The Need For A Powerfully TransformativeKeystone Habit
If you try to tackle everything wrong in your life, you’ll quickly burn-out and quit. It’s happened many times before.
Life is super busy. You don’t have time to focus on a thousand different areas of your life to change. That’s exhausting, and frankly, not helpful.
More effective than microscopically analyzing your sabotaging behaviors, is nailing down a “keystone” habit — which tightly locks all of your other habits in place. Without the keystone, everything falls apart.
In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg describes keystone habits as,“small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.”
A person might start exercising once per week, and unknowing begins eating better and being more productive at work. She begins smoking less and showing more patience with her colleagues and loved ones. She uses her credit card less, feels less stressed, and has increased motivation toward her goals. The ingrained patterns in her brain reform and she becomes an entirely different person. All because she started exercising once per week.
You acquire one of these habits and everything in your life can change. Keystone habits spark a chain reaction of other good habits and can rapidly alter every aspect of your life.
--Benjamin P. Hardy
is a Tony-winning producer/writer/actor & CEO of TheDreamUnLocked: Boutique Coaching for Actors, Writers & Dreamers