Building Self Esteem is something you do everyday...
1. Keep a journal: record how beautifully you lived this life. Include the drama, the places where you weren't your best self, the amazing things you've accomplished or managed to survive, celebrate every miracle no matter how small a little each day
2. Tell people how you feel...not for them, for you. When you tell folks how you feel and they do their best to honor it, that act builds self esteem. You're convincing yourself that you have the power to change your life. Give people the chance to care for you by honoring your feelings. You deserve it. It's powerful self-esteem magic
3. Tell people how you feel as a way to set a boundary. That when you're feeling good about your interactions with them, you'll stick around for more goodness, when you're not, you will leave. And then leave each time. The peace it will give you is more proof positive that you have the power to change your life. Another self-esteem building action that changes your life.
4. Until further notice, celebrate everything. Create physical proof of your celebration. A card, a beautiful journal, a photo of something you're grateful for in your journal, frame a photo that symbolizes the moment and create a gallery of moments when you stood up for your best self and spoke truth to power.
5. Expect your feelings to be honored and don't take it personally when they are not. Simply move to a place where they are. Create room for people to show up for you by focusing on those who do and not those who don't. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER.
6. Surround yourself with people who support the way you feel. That includes work, home, friendships, social situations. The biggest sources of stress and self-esteem shredding are work and family that you feel you have to deal with. What if you didn't? And more importantly, the opportunity to tell a family member how they make you feel is the most powerful self esteem building mojo there is. If you never teach the people who are supposed to love you how to love you, how can you expect the rest of the world to learn. This is the first place we need to heal.
7. Lose the idea that someone should know how they're making you feel. You create a world in which everyone has bad intentions towards you when in reality, most people are just trying to survive their own wounds. Teaching folks how to treat you is an adult rite of passage. It's the first place you learn to stand up for yourself and love yourself. The act of teaching others how to treat you is a healthy part of being an adult. Remember, you're teaching people how to treat you for your growth and happiness, not to tell people what to do or try to control them. The latter is about giving up all your power and reinforcing the destructive thinking that everyone means you harm or doesnt' give a shit about you. That's not at all what this is about. No one knows how to love you the way you need to be loved better than you. When you teach folks this, you set standards and this self-valuing builds your sense of self worth.
is a Tony-winning producer/writer/actor & CEO of TheDreamUnLocked: Boutique Coaching for Actors, Writers & Dreamers