a friend recently asked me if i was going to my class reunion. i don’t feel reunions: they give perspective, but they don’t give me hope for the future, connection & new ways at looking at old problems
they remind me i’m finished being that person w/that life where i was so much smaller & in so much pain
perhaps bec i’m so aware of how late i blossomed.
it’s also not how i grieve
the loss of who i was or
who we were
when i feel lost
when i feel like there’s little to look forward to & lots of regret to muddle around in
that’s the universe calling to my aries moon saying
“sometimes u just gotta conquer something new & unknown to shake things up, to remind u what level of fabulosity ur working at & to make u aware of so many other juicy life possibilities
for some people, they revert to the past when this happens finding people, places & things to reminisce about, that’s great, but doesn’t always heal or move u forward in this journey.
the last 2 times i felt that disconnect, i went to Belize for 3 weeks to whisper to the butterflies, eat raw chocolate w/Mayans & visit a Shaman to get my soul right
The second time I went to Morocco & played drums w/bedouines as the sunset over the Sahara, sleep in a 12th century Kasbah in the Atlas mountains eating chicken Tagine over an open fire & take the healing waters of the hammam’s eucalyptus & argan oil body rituals. A laying on of hands by Brown women w/Brown women.
I learned the secrets & joys of a woman centered culture within a culture. I found new ways of thinking about solitude, communion with others & the magic God left us to find
Both journeys healed me, both made me feel how amazing it was to be alive & because there are more years behind me than in front of me, i must have a lot to look forward to & savor sans the guilt & obligation of youth
photo by @aitisfoul •
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