Posted @withregram • @therapportcoach
Have you ever hear one of those conversations where maybe you or the other person is talking about an argument they were in some time ago, but they say what they said as though they were still in the moment?
That's because the argument has emotional traumas of varying degrees that haven't been dealt with.
And because the brain doesn't understand tense, all those bad emotions come right back up when they talk about the argument.
They're still in it. They're still fighting.
How exhausting would that be, to have the same argument over and over and over for years?
If you're reading this and realizing you might be one of those,
Set yourself free of that by learning the lesson and tossing the argument. That person doesn't deserve to live rent free in your head.
You don't deserve to be sucked dry of all joy because this argument replays like a broken record.
If you do have to talk about that argument again, frame it in the past tense, and refrain from using exact quotes.
Paraphrase. Keeping it in the present keeps the emotional traumas in the forefront. Paraphrasing helps disassociate from the argument and remove the emotional component.
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is a Tony-winning producer/writer/actor & CEO of TheDreamUnLocked: Boutique Coaching for Actors, Writers & Dreamers