I traded soul extortion for soul searching

- author unknown

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Ever meet those people who effusively tell you how brillant you are and what you have to say is sooo important, unless they have to pay for it? 

Like you're only brillant if the advice is free?  

It's a really privileged way of thinking...that comes from trying to find a shortcut to get what I know comes from hella' amounts of hardwork...

I've stopped volunteering advice (my shortcoming) and giving it away for free....its very effective when you ignore or block people like this...they have no idea that you've written them off and when you see them, they're like, hey, did you get my email, my text?  

And you're like, "no, omg...I didnt..."

Well, cuz I really didn't because I blocked you....but you're so self-concerned with what you want that you haven't figured that out...

Because here's the secret....psst: 

they don't think what you have to say is brillant or worth anything...if they did, they'd pay you for it and because they don't offer, you already know they don't think you're worth it...

I just figured it out...it's not that they don't like you, they're just don't think you're that valuable to their agenda...that they can get what they need without you or for free...

and that's fine until they can't....and then I don't know what happens next cuz I've blocked you....howlin....

Oh, I know...they try and get it from someone else and it's just okay or half assed and then they circle back and still try and get free advice from you after they've paid someone who gave them crap or only bits of peices, but not the whole thing...or they figured out they're just not up to the level of work you're suggesting they have to do to get what you have...

and maybe they don't need to...maybe they have the privilege of getting it for a whole lot less work...good for them...i work at a different pace, a different karma...esp since I figured out that for the most part this capitalist structure doesn't really care very much about what I have to offer...

I believe in the journey, the complications, the lessons humanity has to learn...I believe in learning how to speak from and to our highest selves...i believe that things that are worthy, right, enlightening don't often make money because they're not in style...and I believe that most things are driven by the need to make money or the attention that will eventually make you money...

i believe that the things we write, think about and say need to not always be easy to hear...i believe that often we have to go places where no one really wants to goe and look at things we really don't want to see to undo some shit we've been doing over and over agains for decades and we're just repeating the same mistakes over and over again...

I believe that when you step out of your comfort zone (and not just what you preach to the world as your beliefs), but when you begin to deal with stuff in ways that are different from your parents and what went before...that you begin to make some huge leaps in understanding the beliefs you hold onto that no longer serve you and in fact are holding you back, that that's when you break new ground....but those places are not easy to excavate....they're complicated and scary....

And no one wants to go there...because it really takes a long time to get through that...and in the system we live in, if it doesn't make money fast, then it's not valuable....see how that shit works...

I'm learning a lot about my inherent value and what I feel is truly valuable....I always had a sneaking suspicion that what I had to offer was not fully valued...but now I'm clear about it because I'm stopped giving it away...I'm having aha moments about this mostly because I stopped, just stopped giving time, energy, life to things that didn't celebrate my values...that ultimately didn't celebrate what was important to me...and in that process, I found amazing, amazing allies, teachers, students, sages, shamans who all taught me as I was teaching them what it means when you give the gift of you to someone, your all out, fierce self...all your wisdom, all your foibles and you take a ride with someone to figure (not what i want to teach them), but rather, what they want to learn and how I can adapt what I know to fit what they need. 

That exchange is incredibly powerful...it's not something that many people want to go through...that journey....but i just realized, I'm not interested in people who don't want that journey...not personally or professionally.......it's not that I don't like them, they're simply not very interesting to me...and since I only got a little while here in this realm...i gotta concern myself with what interests me deeply, profoundly...what makes me feel of use...what makes me feel like there's sunshine on my face....

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