If It Scares U, It Means Ur Supposed to Do it...

I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone....to do something I've not done before and the most amazing thing happened to me...I have a dance injury in my shoulder that needs serious power behind the massage, so I finally broke down and asked for a really strong male masseuse. I always ask for women...I just (well, whatever)...

They said he was a master. So, I met him and he showed me to the room. I peeked out and saw this Asian man meditating down the hall before he came into to work on me. I was stunned...and thought, well, I must be in good hands. I got under the towel. And waited and then the anxiety and the fear kicked in. Those of us who have survived certain things need a lot of courage to share space around our bodies. Male doctors, masseuses trigger that in me. So, I decided to breathe...I was cool until the towel came down to my waist and then I started trembling...totally lame I'm thinking.

But I hear Pema saying, stay. Your back is in agony, no one's been able to fix it and here is an opportunity to try something you've never done. So, I let him work on me. I purchased a 90 min session, he worked on me for two hours.

He asked me where I hurt. I showed him and his hands started talking to muscles knotted with scar tissue from constantly dislocating my shoulder in dance class. He worked into, around and down the pressure points of my spine. And through it all he kept breathing, like a meditation. He didn't speak. He'd only ask when I cried out in relief or started weeping if he was working to much, to stop.

And I laughed and cried at the same time and yelled: No, it hurts, but don't stop, you're healing me. He smiled and went back to breathing with each release.

He was a master. He was doing a combination of chiropractic mixed with accupressure and breathing into my muscles. He went from muscle to muscle to muscle and when one wouldn't release, he'd find a acupuncture pressure point and work on numbing the pain and bring warmth to that area. I could feel years of heartache, trauma being pulled out of me. He pushed my hip back into place and pulled my ribbed cage open rib by rib so I could finally breathe...you have no idea how wonderful that is...

it was the most extraordinary thing I have ever experienced. From top to bottom and he charged me for only 90 mins instead of 2 hours. When he was done, he thanked me for allowing him to do his work.

I got up and thought, OMG, is this how other people walk around, no pain. I thought my legs would give out and I realized it was the first time I'd felt my hip and shoulder rest properly in its socket in 15 years.

It was the best massage of my life...and it only happened because I was tired of holding on to an old fear that had nothing to do with my present...I stepped into it...shaking and sweating, but I stepped into and found a healing I've need for so very long...

ache' y luz....

#OpenHandsOpenHeart
#DreamingOutLoud

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