Of course, Online Dating Works, If you've done your work....

I've learned how to use online dating as a way to screen out folks I have nothing in common with and meet cool people. What would really make me interested is a site that had a way to screen out folks who were not interested/prepared for a committed relationship. Weeding through nice folks with no emotional intelligence or in denial about their committment issues is a huge numbers game...I'd love website that could save me some time... When a dating site can figure that out, sign me up....


 "the rules to online dating" taught me how to establish unbreakable boundaries to prevent that from happening...it changed my life and met the most amazing men as a result...1. 4 emails only and then he must arrange a date close to u and pay for it 2. 10 min calls only bef uv met him and then he must set up a date3. only respond to emails (no winks, likes, etc) and the email must be specifically written to u ...it should be a letter of introductin and engage u in mutual interests; only respond to these not form letters... when u treat online daring as an interview w/a complete stranger, then u set healthy boundaries that only gentleman w/good intentions will honor...the rest are just looking for attention...

Interesting...I've not found one that did it well...I'm based in NYC...I think part of the problem is that folks often say they want one thing, but their unconscious behavior is totally out of line with that declaration. People who want connection, intimacy and the committment that comes from a healthy partnership behave in a very distinctive way...you know it immediately by the way the courtship begins and proceeds. The biggest thing is that when a man is taking the time to court, it's because his time is valuable and he's looking for a partner...Anything less than courtship is just a guy hanging out ....most of the guys hanging out tell me this isn't true...they're just playing the wait and see game...but that's a load of BS...they just want something easy and not too involved that require anything of them...partnership requires something from both parties...it requires that each person has done their personal work, have learned how to communicate and are fearless about vulnerability and are willing to grow as part of their healthy development as an adult and the great thing that partnering with someone requires of you...to grow up...and not fear accountability and intimacy...you make a committment to become your best self and take care of your self so that the relationship does not hold that burden....it's a lotta of life work and when someone has done it, you notice it immediately....