Relationship Tool of the Day: Leaning Back by Alexandra Indaco-Heredia

In Rori Raye's (datingcoach and author of 'Have The Relationship You Want') workbook and online program she explains the concept of LEANING BACK in detail and its one of the most powerful tools for instant empowerment. What does it mean and what does it consist of?

Scheherazade by jenimal

The LEANING BACK concept springs from the Eastern Philosophy of Yin-Yang, the opposite forces at work philosophy. Translated to the relational sphere it means that YOU must define with which energy you enter a relationship: female or male?
This is gender-unrelated. You may be female and still enter a relationship with male energy. The only condition is that your partner must then play the female energy role. Once you have chosen your energy you act and behave accordingly.  

Female energy means being soft and receptive. Your job is to receive. To hold your heart open (physically palms open to the world) and to be an invitation for love. Look good, be good, smell good. Be the JUICE men are craving for. Rori Raye explains the concept in the form of a RUBBER BAND that pulls back and forth. Its your job to draw him into your energy field. Its not your job to MOVE towards his. Its his job to come towards you. To do the chasing. To do the moving. To do the pursuing. Its your birthright to be chased. It literally means that you sit still. You practice quietness. You gracefully receive his attention, his calls, his text messages, his invitations for you to become part of his life. This means you don't initiate text messages or any form of contact. You ONLY RESPOND. And this is not a rule just to manipulate a man into a relationship. No, its a deeper understanding of how the male-female energy field works. If you move forward he will pull back. If not, the rubberband will loose its tension: its chemistry. And he will escape the rubber band and might not come back.


And yes, specially when we are turned on by a man, when we love him or when we already have been physical with a man, we women tend to overfunction. We will call and text message and look for him, pick him up at his job, buy him gifts, think about his mothers birthday and worry about him when he doesn't call. It feels COUNTER INTUITIVE to hold back, but the opposite is the truth. When you hold back, when you can practice quietness, you let your man come to you at his terms. When he calls it means he wanted to hear your voice. When he comes and picks you up, it means he really wanted to have your company. Let him come to you on his terms, even if it means that he might not call you for days or weeks.

This ofcourse doesn't mean that you are some sort of passive doll, sitting and waiting for your man at home! No! You are focused on your life, on your needs, on your business! Use your male energy to get your degree, do volunteer work, get your promotion or travel the world! But as soon as you enter the relationship sphere you hang those balls on the veranda, and you let him come to you! In case he doesn't come to you, you won't be bothered because you are so divinely busy entertaining yourself in meeting new people and other men, that what he does or not does becomes secondary. Yes, even if you love your man deeply, you go out and ROMANCE THE WORLD: drink coffee with the cute guy from the corner store who asked for your number. Have a talk with your co-worker or call your long lost friend from highschool. Let yourself be surrounded by men. If your focus is ONLY on him, he will feel your vibe and possibly pull back even more. Have a life!

This practice of quietness can be enhanced by the practice of yoga or any martial arts or meditation. To sit still and learn to not to manipulate the outcome of what YOU really want. The fact is that a relationship is a business of TWO and if you want to be the captain on the ship, he will respond to you by pulling back. It might work for a little bit, in case you find 'boys' rather than 'men', who are willing to be showered with short term attention and affection and like an ego boost. But a real man, a man who is looking for a long and lasting relationship REALLY wants to do the chase.

Sisters, your ability to be LEANING BACK will define the success of your love life. Start and share your practice with each other. Let him look and come for you......You are a QUEEN after all.