These Stories Are Like Religion

The Cosby, Martin, Michael, R. Kelly, our favorite pastor, etc, etc stories are like religion. People have a powerful emotional need to believe in something bigger, better than themselves. People need heroes who in spite of the world's harshness, manage to rise up and achieve a measure of grace, success. So when that idea fails to meet up, we need to justify or defend the heroe or the religion to the end. This isn't a rational belief system, its emotional. It has nothing to do with the moral issues behind something, but rather a profound sadness that our heroes or belief systems end up being faulty humans with dark sides. This need for the perfect heroe or perfect religious system can be an emotional hindrance if we let it shut us down. When these things are not perfect, we have to find a way to let go of that need and still believe in the ultimate goodness in human beings, in the idea that there is goodness in the world and you don't need a heroe or religion to believe that.

I speak from personal experience about gifted men who abused their power and got away with it. Their abusing me does not negate their brillance; however, they did not get a free pass from me. I had to call them on their broken shit and demand a public reckoning. The same was true of the religion I was raised in. It was a safe haven for me and protected my family from the ghetto. But a time came when that same protection became destructive and I had to leave the faith. I can acknowledge the good that religion brought to my life and still call out the bullshit that almost broke my life.

We're human, and when we acknowledge the broken places and call good folks on some of their darkness, we become more human and open the door to healing.

We can't let our emotional need for perfection blind us to the need for calling out the bad shit...

Our heroes and religions dont get a free pass because when they do, someone innocent is often paying the price...